I was on a plane recently taking a flight to Florida with my fiancee and I thought about my first time on a plane. I was terrified of being in the air and the only thing I could think of was “what if this thing goes down” and I was tense the entire time especially during turbulence. I thought about how silly it was that I responded to a fear of something, that wasn’t happening at all, by tensing my body up as if that would help anything in the event that what I was afraid of actually happened. Because (dark example incoming) what if that plane did crash. What is me being tense and hypervigilant going to do about it? Absolutely nothing.

Lets use that same thought pattern and apply it to a less intense scenario like being in traffic. Lets say that someone is in traffic and they’re mad about it sitting in that seat full of rage and saying a few choice words to match the vibe. And someone right next to them is in the exact same situation but they’re dancing and singing to a song that they like. Both people are in the same situation, but one is having a reaction response to something out of their control and the other has chosen to do something else. And the person that is singing and dancing is having a much better time. This is honestly the cheat code to a peaceful life. Can you be in the midst of an uncontrollable unfavorable situation and choose to do the opposite of what the reaction response wants you to do?

For me the answer is a big sometimes. Sometimes I can and sometimes I can’t; But I know the more that I can the better I get at doing it. It feels really dumb to me to have a situation in front of me that is enough to drive anyone to the point of rage and choose to do my best to be indifferent about it. But I know that it feels dumb because Im not used to it. Just like it felt really dumb the first time I tried to ride a bike or lift free weights for the first time. But the same way that I got good at those things im getting better at controlling my emotional response to things. Being able to control emotional responses, that have honestly only happened because the brain was in autopilot from the real pilot not making conscious choices, leaves a lot of room for different and more beneficial perspectives to take place.

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